So I'm knee-deep in Frankenstein and I realize, for the millionth time today, that I do not want to write any of these papers.
This is has been a rough week. I've been medically orders to lay off the caffeine, I've been in random fucking pain, I had my first anxiety attack so my fear of anxiety is now making me anxious, and now I may be getting a migraine.
This sucks green donkey dicks.
I don't want to be trolling through Frankenstein, looking for quotes and I don't want to be outlining yet another essay on Kubla Khan. What I want to do is make myself a nice cup of herbal tea and relax, and maybe doing some light reading for class. Not stressing over the simultaneous essays I have to have done in three days. And these didn't even happen due to procrastination.
Of course, I can't just roll over and give up either.
My ancestors did not die for me to give up during an essay on Frankenstein of all things.
Like no.
And with this comes the realization that it may not always feel like it's worth it to finish something (hell, sometimes it's not), but it's really these little fucking moments that test what you're made of, what builds you into the person you are, from the fibers in your bones to the tragedies in your eyes. You can't just give up and die and let the tide take you with it down the winding road. Because if you break in the wings, you won't last at all on stage, and you won't ever make it back in one piece.
I am strong.
You are strong.
And I know this got hella real for a situation involving shitty essays, but it's more than that.
Its the fact that we must take these challenges while rolling with the tempo life gives us. We can't just stop in the middle of the dance floor. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. It's gonna suck and sometimes it hurts, but we'll persevere.
This is a lesson I learned but obviously forgot, so now I'm learning once more. (via hella unrelated situations, but whatever. The point is, I'm getting shit done).
Yeah, you may be a tiny kitten full of woe, but you still have got claws. And if you're too lazy for that, grab a stick and make a machine gun.
Update: to succinctly put everything together, as I explained to a my friend- I'm being tested and I'm about to make someone eat their pop quiz. #SorryNotSorry