I am a vegetarian. I've been a vegetarian for seventeen years.
Some say it's because I'm petty (they're not wrong), others say it's cause I don't like meat (they're not wrong either).
But I just want to establish that while my rise to vegetarianism is not necessarily common, it's still fucking valid.
I'm bringing this up because I am so over these tired ass vegetarian/vegan jokes. 🙄 Like I'm done. They're really irritating and I get it, vegans (and by extension, vegetarians) annoy you for some reason. But that's not even the problem with it. The problem is that y'all omnivores are hella irritating with jokes about being bothered by vegetarianism and/or veganism without realizing that YOU DO THE SAME FUCKING THING.
I swear, if I have to hear one MORE FUCKING JOKE ABOUT BACON BEING LIFE I WILL SCREAM IN YOUR FACE.
FUCK YOUR BACON JOKES
Like, I'm going to need people to understand that I really, really, really, really, REALLY get your overwhelming love for meat. You live the taste of warm and dead animal. You cannot live without a chunk of charred carcass in your mouth. Dead pig is the light in your life and the only reason you wake in the morning.
WE FUCKING GET IT.
Every single time, since the age of 8, every time I mention I'm a vegetarian, I get the same tired ass reactions.
Random Omnivore: "I can't believe you don't eat meat!"
Me: Wow, something not fitting into your worldview, how avant-garde.
Random Omnivore: Oh my god, I don't get how you won't eat meat! I could never do it!"
Me: Yeah, that's why YOU'RE FUCKING NOT.
Random Omnivore: "So you've never craved meat??"
Me: Obviously not, or else I would be fucking EATING IT.
Random Omnivore: "How do you do it?!??"
Me: I don't put dead animals in my mouth, sweetie. It's not hard.
Or, my personal favorite (although, albeit extremely rare, it only happened once) reaction:
Very Specific Omnivore: "Why do you use paper? It's made out of trees!"
Me: ...?????
Even now, twelve years after it happened, I fail to understand the logic behind this reaction. If anyone can explain, that'd be great, thanks. But it is a good story to tell at parties.
That being said, I still get dumb reactions and stupid jokes from the largely Omnivore and carnivore fetishist society we all live in, tbh. Yet, somehow, I refrain from bitching about y'all every single fucking moment of the day. I don't complain about y'all in dumb videos. I'll still let y'all eat meat without asking y'all how you can do it or gaping in surprise.
I get it! At some point in your life, you came across an irritating vegan and they questioned you so much that it somehow traumatized you to the point that you can never let it go.
But what hat you don't realize is that you legit are THAT FUCKING ANNOYING OMNIVORE TO THE NON-ANNOYING vegans and vegetarians around you. Please, understand this. Smh.
Now, don't get me wrong. I welcome questions out of curiosity. But there's a fine line between curious and malice. Like, if it's your seventh time asking me this, or telling me that I can eat some grass from outside (try me, I dare you) it's fucking irritating. Is it that hard to believe that not everyone is the same as you? Damn. Expand your minds, please.
I'm not saying that there's anything rather revolutionary about a dietary choice (I really don't believe there is? But feel free to fight me!) but y'all need to let it go. Some people don't eat meat or animal products, just like you probably hate tofu.
Like, can we just live? That'd be great, thanks.
You'll be okay. You can live, too.
🙄